A Day in the Socially-Distanced Life of Cody Fischer

(as transcribed by mom and edited by dad) 

I have been remiss in posting during the first nine exciting months of my life. At first I was busy training my parents. Then, once mom went back to work, I had to pitch in to help save the Iran nuclear deal and it just snowballed from there... I soon realized that in a baby’s busy life, the gap between intention and implementation seems to grow ever wider. 

Unfortunately this means I missed sending out important life updates, such as my adventure in Phoenix with Grandma (although I left Kathy and Charlie and excellent review on Baby-bnb because their house has great baby vibes) and my exciting excursion to Denver where cousin Coop taught me to eat pancakes and climb a mountain (more like how to ride to the top of a mountain while the parents do all the work). Aunt Julie and Unc’s house will also get a five star Baby-bnb review!

Photo Credit: Unc

After my Denver-Bozeman trip, I had barely settled back into my routine at home and Kiddie University when daycare closed. So now I get to spend all my time at home with Mom and Dad (both of whom are working remotely; or trying to, as much as one can with an energetic 9-month old and, in mom’s case, when trying to collaborate with a lot of old men who can’t figure out how to use Zoom.) 

I’m taking full advantage of the time at home to perfect my crawling and standing techniques and figuring out how to scatter my toys around the house as widely as possible. I view this as a valuable service – Mom and Dad would never have realized just how dirty it is under the radiator if I hadn’t lodged a book under there. I’m also learning some of the fundamental tenants of architecture by impersonating a wrecking ball to demonstrate that dad’s block towers are not structurally sound. 

Most afternoons mom and I get out for stroll around the neighborhood. I’m embarking on an ambitious survey of the area’s sidewalks – there is definitely some infrastructure stimulus that DC can take advantage of post-COVID-19. (Don’t people realize that most strollers don’t have shocks?!) I take this surveying responsibility very seriously and do my best not to smile when I’m out and about. This is also meant to discourage random people from coming up and telling me how cute I am and trying to pinch my cheeks. We all have to do our part for social distancing!

While my life may seem all fun and games, it isn’t just crawling around and playing. Recently my parents have been leaving food on my tray and they seem to expect me to feed myself. I stared them down the first few times and refused to touch the food. Finally I took pity on them, relented, and picked up a piece of banana. In retaliation for this new responsibility I make sure to throw some on the floor, smash it into my chair, and smear it all over my head. I can’t make it too easy for them. On the upside, I now believe that sweet potato is an excellent addition to any skin care regime. 

I also still try to do my part helping Mom with her work. I ate a report assessing the international monitoring of Iran’s nuclear program the other day and tried very hard to get quoted on North Korea’s recent missile tests, but sadly my contribution didn’t make the newspaper. So much for the adage “from the mouth of babes….”

For anyone looking for book recommendations, my current favorites are “Pig the Pug” and “Llama Llama Red Pajama.” But if you’re looking for more than two minutes of entertainment and prefer a greater text to picture ratio, my mom is currently reading Erik Larson’s “The Splendid and the Vile” detailing Churchill’s first year as Prime Minister. She describes it as “an interesting, but slightly romanticized, read full of fascinating anecdote’s about the UK’s response to the Blitz.” She also recommends “The Spy and the Traitor” or, if you prefer fiction, “A Gentleman in Moscow.” Dad is reading a book on baby sleep (snooze fest! and unnecessary because I am an excellent sleeper) and a lot of news.