It is with a great sense of unease and urgency that I write to inform you, that I have strong reasons to believe that Brian is trying to kill me.
As you may or may not know, I am scheduled to take my bi-annual masochistic trip to Mt. Whitney to humiliate and denigrate myself before the mountain. Brian, upon learning about this pilgrimage offered to accompany me out of what I initially took to be a genuine sense of care and concern.
Unfortunately, I have been unable to train/run for the past several weeks, although I am now cleared to take long walks. Hearing I was released for hiking, Brian offered to “help” by inviting me to take a few hikes with him before the upcoming climb.
Well we completed our first two days of hiking yesterday and it is from this experience that I must now conclude his motives are at best, suspect. Forcing the elderly up and down loose gravel slopes might be written off as simply bad judgment, but one cannnot so easily explain away a threat of physical vilolence. Although, even this threat could be overlooked, especially as it was a result of the insulting act, by me, of offering to pay for something. When isn’t kindness and generosity usually greeted with a show of force?
However, as much as I can try to excuse the above, it is beyond suspicion that on more than one occasion I spotted a camera crew with none other than...Keith Morrison
I think you are wise to be concerned. 😮 Brian can be very sneaky - just like his mother.
ReplyDeleteFor the record: I was not trying to kill Sande. In fact, just the opposite, I was trying to get him into shape so he would *not* die on Mount Whitney. And he didn't. So Keith Morrison can go take a hike. (GET IT?!!!)
ReplyDeleteAs for the claim that I threatened Sande with physical violence: we both insisted on paying for a dinner out and were at a stalemate, so I simply suggested that we engage in a gentlemanly round of fisticuffs, the winner of which would naturally be allowed to settle the bill. WAS THAT WRONG?!